Twelve

This little man would have been twelve today

I miss playing with your hand and feeling your hand on my arm.  I miss hearing you and watching you grow.

I don't miss you struggling to breathe and I don't miss your pain.  Today, I really miss you though.  I remember Evan stroking your hand as you slept and how much he loves you.  I remember Ross running with you and how much he loves you too.  I wish that Levi had those memories as well.  I wish Levi could talk to you in real life, not just in his dreams. 

Your eyes were always older than they should have been.  You always knew, didn't you. These photos were taken before you were 24 hours and yet there is that look in your eyes, that ageless adult look.  Ah darling, I miss you so much.