Today has been one of those days. When I read other people's blogs and Facebook posts, I think perhaps that I very alone on these days. No one else seems to have days like this. These are the days that I am just over being a parent for a time. I come home thinking; 'can't you just be grown up already?' I am tired of having to pick stuff up all the time. It would be so lovely to just come home and flop down on the couch and not have to do anything for a minute; a second even. I didn't want to help with homework. I didn't want to play games. I didn't want to do anything, but you don't have an option. No one else seems to write about those days. Maybe they have partners that take over or at least help on those days. Maybe they don't have them. Maybe they are deliriously happy about being a mother all the time. Maybe they don't have tired day, or cranky days or days that they hurt. Maybe they have those days and just don't report them. I don't know about them.
I had a bad afternoon. I had one of those days that no one else has! Levi, of course, just takes it all in his stride. He is very calm about it all. I am just tired I think. Well, and hanging out to get this tooth out as well.
Some of it is that Levi is tired and cranky and needy as well. He had homework about a rabbit warren and having to make up five rules for the rabbits, so they could get along with each other. He just looked at me completely blankly. I suggested that he think about what rules he had at school and at home so that people got along with each other. His answer?
"I don't have any rules"
Umm, really? So I said to him;
"So you can go up to another kid at school and punch him and that's OK?"
"Well. No, of course not"
So his first rule was 'No punching'! Not quite what I was trying to hint at but close enough. Sometimes he seems blindingly intelligent and at other times I am dragging out information as if he can barely synapse. I know that it is likely a subject/fatigue thing but it is frustrating.
The photos are because I'm sure there haven't been enough 'Sleeping Levi' photos lately and to show where he is now electing to sleep. Plus to have a look at those beautiful relaxed lips. He is currently sleeping on the couch. Don't ask me why. It is just to do my head in.
I have days like that all the time. When I do, I don't say anything on Facebook. That could be why you don't see others having "days like this". I don't talk about it because I don't know anyone else who can remotely relate to having 9 kids, 5 with special needs, 1 who is terminally ill & 1 who is multiply disabled + medically fragile. No one "gets" my life and after awhile, hearing, "Praying for you!" gets frustrating/old. It doesn't seem to help... or if the prayers ARE helping, I can only imagine how much worse things would be without 'em! LOL
ReplyDeleteAnyway, all of my babbling to say, you are not alone. It still sucks & no one can fix it, but I can sympathize & I do. For whatever that's worth.