Friday again

 It has been an enlightening day, for me anyway. Not much has happened with Levi. He had a 'good day' and was picked up by Ty.  He went to Mini golf and played digging in the yard.  He was happy most of the day.  The only down fall was that he fell and opened up his knee again.

I think that we are up to about 4 times that this poor knee has been re injured.  However he barely makes a fuss unless he is very tired.  At least for him the whole school thing has blown over.  For me perhaps not.  Levi's teacher wants to meet with me and I suggested next Friday.  Hopefully it will just get smoothed out.

This morning when I went upstairs, I told Jo that I had written a letter.  She was very cranky about the whole thing.  She said that Levi should learn that life isn't fair.  I said that I don't mind his learning that from other kids but thought that I should protect him from other parents.  Her response was that he needed to learn that sooner or later and that he shouldn't learn that his mother would rush in to protect him.  I was too mad to respond.  The only response would have burned way too many bridges.

I thought that if there was any 5 year old that understood life wasn't fair it was Levi.  His family had been destroyed by divorce before he was more than 1, he lost one brother to death before he was born and the other two through no fault of his own.  He has been forced to move away from family and friends that adored him.  To top it all off his friend's funeral was only days ago.  Do I think Levi understands life isn't fair, Oh Yes most assuredly.  What really surprises me is that he is so happy at all.

Levi never knew that I wrote a letter to his teacher.  His mother didn't 'rush in to save him'.  But with that one statement from Jo I realized something.  Now I know what Levi would turn into if I did leave him to face the world completely alone now.  Levi would learn resilience and hone it to a level that is frightening.  He would learn that the people closest to him were not to be trusted to protect him.  He would struggle to learn to trust anyone.  In short, Levi would turn into me.

Now there is something that I will spend a lot of energy preventing.  He can have my love and he can have whatever skills are passed through my genes, but my hangups and my fears can stop here.