Bad Boy?

Today Levi got pulled out of class to talk to a teacher because he and his mates had a playground spat yesterday.  I was cranky enough to write a letter to his teacher.  Here it is:

Dear Brooke,

I am a little concerned about what happened to Levi today. I am concerned that he can be bad enough to get called up to another class to be 'in trouble' and I find out about it from another parent.

I am not a parent that thinks that their child can do no wrong. I think that Levi and his friends are all learning how to be friends together and although there is a curriculum for this, I truly believe that the most effective learning is going to be the playground interaction they have with little adult intervention. Last week Levi came home crying because 'none of his friends would play with him' and 'everyone at school hates him'. 'I even speaked to them twice and got to Step 4!' was also stated. I assume this is the curriculum coming out. My response was to talk over what had happened and to try to decide if he needed to do something to help his interactions with his friends. My response was not to call all his friend's parents and berate them because their child wouldn't play with mine. I assumed that it would all blow over the next day and they would all learn something. It did blow over and I hope they have learned something.

I assume that Luke didn't deliberately 'flick his yogurt cap into X's eye' and frankly they are 5 years old, their chances of hitting something deliberately from that far away is approaching zero. I do think the other kids laughed.

Here are my concerns:

1. Why were Luke and Levi in trouble but not Ty who was also laughing, and if he was in trouble both Luke and Levi did not see that happen and both feel singled out

2. Pulling the kids out of class seems a huge over reaction to a playground spat

3. X's mother now tells other parents that Levi is a 'bad influence' and not to invite him over to play. Levi's real friends are ignoring this but what of the new friends he is trying to make in his new classroom. Levi is not perfect but he is also one of the youngest in your class. He is bad like a 5 year old, he isn't dismembering cats. I want to make sure that he is not getting some reputation just because one mother believes her own child can do no wrong.

4. I am a single mother with little support. I don't have the luxury to pick up and drop off Levi at school each day and I am nervous that he isn't being protected, not from the children but from the parents.

5. Levi has a lovely self esteem at the moment but he is also very empathetic. How long before he starts to react to the negativity?

6. One of Levi's good friends Ethan died last week and it definitely affecting Levi. He is talking about it and coping quite well, but he now sleeps with the light on because he is afraid. The stress level is high enough at the moment, please can you protect him a little from more undeserved stress.

I am sorry that you get this cranky Email. I am disappointed in X's mother but want to make sure that more than just the squeaky wheel is being heard. Please let me know if Levi is a bad influence or he is a bad friend or anything else that I can actually help to change. If he is the problem, then I don't want to be the blind parent that just lets it slide. I am happy to discipline him at home but to do that I need to know it has happened.

Thanks for listening.

Sue Nicklin

So we shall see.  I am restraining myself from calling this bully Mum and attacking her on the phone.  I am hoping that the school does what it is supposed to.  Again we shall see.