I think that when I read over these later down the track, I will think that I am still struggling with losing Frankie. It isn't really true. There are parts of each day that I have a sad moment. Parts of each day where I long for something different, but it's not all day. Most of the day I am truly happy, or excited or just busy. I am working hard to get ready for Levi's fifth birthday party tomorrow. At the same time I am fighting a cold and sore throat. I spent a longer moment than normal today missing Frank. It is always hard when Levi achieves some milestone. Any milestone really. I always spend more time missing Frankie.
Today I was driving around completing little things that will make tomorrow perfect and other late pick ups of fresh stuff. I was thinking that I was really missing Frank and how much fun it would be to plan this sort of thing with him. I thought that I wished Frank would just write his name in the sky or something, just to let me know that he was still there for me. I looked up and there was an 'F' in the clouds. I felt loved and watched over. Regardless of the numerous reasons why the clouds would just form that way without any 'divine' assistance, I still felt loved. It felt like Frankie was still looking after his Mama, even after all this time.
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