Today is Wednesday. At least it has been all day. I had so much trouble all day trying to work out what day it actually is. Finally tonight I am working out that it is actually Tuesday. Levi slept in this morning. I mean really slept in. He was still sleeping when I left in the morning and I gave him a kiss and he still didn't wake up. Actually if he had at that point it would have put me back about 20 minutes, so I am grateful that he didn't.
I am at the Royal Children's Hospital every day this week helping with the Back to Basics course. I have to present tomorrow but there are chunks of time that I am just listening. I am not good at sitting still and doing little but looking professional. Then on Thursday I have to have a bunch of young Physios at the office. Unfortunately that day is also Levi's birthday for real so I will not be able to take the traditional cupcakes to his class. I guess we can add that to the list of things he gets to tell his shrink in the future.
There are some days I just wish that I was richer. I just wish that I could be the mother that hand made cupcakes and took them in on his birthday and dropped him at the door of school and picked him up. I wish that I could just work because I wanted to and not so much that I can't think anymore. I just don't really feel completely in control at home or at work. I have to dance around in both places and can only really be me with just Levi or by myself. If I confide in someone, I am in trouble for not confiding in who I 'should' have been confiding in. If I keep things to myself I'm in trouble. If I think of an idea for a holiday and excitedly tell someone, I am in trouble for not telling the 'correct' person first. I just cant get it right. Frankly I'm tired of trying to get it right all the time
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