Wildness

We went to Go Wild again Friday night.  It is a great spot for dinner.  Normally it costs $12 for the kids to play during the day but after 5.30 they have dinner and it only costs you one dinner.  I got the cheapest!  The kids can play as long as they want.  I had fed Levi before he went so he could play and we went with Ty and Steffi and their mother Nicole.  Levi plays until he is dripping with sweat.  After a full day of school, he doesn't last very long but we left at 7pm (his bedtime)  and he had a good hour and a half playing, and we both got fed.

There is an impressive jumping castle/slide an a maze of tunnels and foam to climb through and over.  As it rained and rained again, it was worth wearing him out in a place that was indoors and warm.  The weather has suddenly taken a turn for August.  It is cold and incredibly windy.  On top of that the ground is completely soaked now, so tree roots are less able to anchor trees and the like. 

I ended up leaving early from work on Friday as well.  My computer got to a stage where it wouldn't open anything at all.  On top of that I was in a fragile frame of mind.  It just comes with the territory I think.  Jane is coming back to Australia but more on that later.  There are some days at my work where although I cope, I still miss Frank more than most other days.  I talk to parents in the same place that I was and see in them the same strength and frailty that was there (and perhaps still is) in me.  I always wish that I could take some of that pain away, esp the future pain, that we all acknowledge is there but shy away from a little.  I wish that I could take it away but also know that they have to go through it just as surely as I did.  I hope that I am able to help them. 

Jane is coming back from Abu Dhabi.  I am actually not completely sure why.  There are lots of stories but I am not sure that I really will ever truly know.  I am unsettled by the likely emotional toll this will have on Jane (but knew that 2 years in Abu Dhabi was unlikely).  I am unsettled by the likely financial toll that this will have on the family (and know that getting the full story on this is unlikely as well).  I am unsettled by the emotional toll this will have on Jo as she gets sucked back into the roller coaster that is the reality of having Jane back in our house.  Bipolar disease is not just a disease affecting the person involved.  It makes all our lives a roller coaster and throws out any possibility of long term planning.  Cross your fingers for us!