Wildness

We went to Go Wild again Friday night.  It is a great spot for dinner.  Normally it costs $12 for the kids to play during the day but after 5.30 they have dinner and it only costs you one dinner.  I got the cheapest!  The kids can play as long as they want.  I had fed Levi before he went so he could play and we went with Ty and Steffi and their mother Nicole.  Levi plays until he is dripping with sweat.  After a full day of school, he doesn't last very long but we left at 7pm (his bedtime)  and he had a good hour and a half playing, and we both got fed.

There is an impressive jumping castle/slide an a maze of tunnels and foam to climb through and over.  As it rained and rained again, it was worth wearing him out in a place that was indoors and warm.  The weather has suddenly taken a turn for August.  It is cold and incredibly windy.  On top of that the ground is completely soaked now, so tree roots are less able to anchor trees and the like. 

I ended up leaving early from work on Friday as well.  My computer got to a stage where it wouldn't open anything at all.  On top of that I was in a fragile frame of mind.  It just comes with the territory I think.  Jane is coming back to Australia but more on that later.  There are some days at my work where although I cope, I still miss Frank more than most other days.  I talk to parents in the same place that I was and see in them the same strength and frailty that was there (and perhaps still is) in me.  I always wish that I could take some of that pain away, esp the future pain, that we all acknowledge is there but shy away from a little.  I wish that I could take it away but also know that they have to go through it just as surely as I did.  I hope that I am able to help them. 

Jane is coming back from Abu Dhabi.  I am actually not completely sure why.  There are lots of stories but I am not sure that I really will ever truly know.  I am unsettled by the likely emotional toll this will have on Jane (but knew that 2 years in Abu Dhabi was unlikely).  I am unsettled by the likely financial toll that this will have on the family (and know that getting the full story on this is unlikely as well).  I am unsettled by the emotional toll this will have on Jo as she gets sucked back into the roller coaster that is the reality of having Jane back in our house.  Bipolar disease is not just a disease affecting the person involved.  It makes all our lives a roller coaster and throws out any possibility of long term planning.  Cross your fingers for us!

Show Day

Today was a day off. It was great! Levi and I actually both woke late. It was a miracle! It is Show Day here today and so Levi has only three days at school this week, as he also got Monday off.

Now it rained here all night, so there is always some risk in that. The creek can go over the causeway and trap us in, so today's schedule was always very flexible. We got 92mm of rain last night on top of the 6mm we got the day before. The creek did go over but you could still wade through and with the 4WD it was very safe.

Levi and I went to Go Wild. It was still nasty and rainy so there were few other options and that was reflected in the number of kids there. Ruby and her Mum and Hugo, her baby brother all came to play. Well basically Georgie and I played with Hugo while Levi and Ruby ran wild in the huge play structure. They had so much fun, it is always a pleasure to watch. Hugo is at a great stage and is a Speech Therapist's dream. He is at that beautiful stage of learning to talk, where he has long conversations in some random language, all in response to really any attention.

We are trying to lots with Ruby and her family at the moment as they are all going to go on tour with Ian for his last tour. They will just go down for the concerts and come back to Samford in between. Georgie has offered to take Levi with Ruby to one of the last Powderfinger concerts in Brisbane. She has some great headphones to protect their ears and they would both come home at 9ish somewhere in the middle of the show when they got too tired. I would have Hugo for the concert at home quietly. I think it would be really fun for Levi to do, but I am not sure how well he will cope with that much sensory input all at once. Ruby will be used to it by then, but it will be all new for Levi. We shall see. Of course in the meantime, my job will be to try to have him listen to at least some Powderfinger before he goes, so the songs are not completely new. It is hard enough for me to listen to music and I tend to hear a lot because I am driving all day. When Levi comes home from school, we make dinner and do bed things and it doesn't really lend itself to listening to music. Maybe I'll recruit some nieces to teach him the songs. He would have an experience that his cousins would love, but he may not even really understand what he is being given.

I love you like a T-Rex

We went back to Go Wild today, but this time we took Ruby with us. Ruby is the girl that Levi is going to 'marry' and he has been unwavering in that conviction since about 18 months ago. There are times that he is going to marry other people but Ruby is always there as well. I went and picked up Ruby, so they played at Ruby's house and then played at Go Wild and then played at our house. Pretty much they played all day. Played well all day actually. The only time that there was any disagreement at all was when Levi came out of the play structure crying because he had done something to make Ruby sad.

Tonight I was given the best Mother's Day present of all. Levi said to me as he was going to bed "I love you as much as a T-Rex, as big as the whole world". He is so sweet.

I am missing Frankie tonight, as the day before Mother's Day. I remember that day so well. It was the last Sunday and Frank wasn't really coping that well but Robert and Michaela got us disc shooters for Mother's Day. Frankie and the boys had so much fun shooting us and the nurses and the family in the room next door. I know that it may not be completely true, but I remember that time as the last time I heard him laugh. Yep I'm really missing him tonight.