One of those days

Everyone has one of those days. Those days when everything just doesn't really sit right inside you. I am not sure what triggers everyone else. I don't know if everyone else's 'Days' are like mine but mine was triggered by these photos. OK not really the photos. I took the photos afterward. Sometimes, Levi looks so much like Frankie it is scary. It doesn't happen that much anymore, as Levi gets older and thinner and Frank is forever frozen at chubby and little, but some nights; Man! I think that it is the nights that are the worst. I am tired and more susceptible. Levi's face relaxes into a younger expression than during the day and then some nights when he sweats a little, his hair curls. It is the hair that changes Levi so completely to Frankie.

On days like that I am quieter all day. I am more work oriented because I need to compartmentalize more. I can play, but it is harder. I can act as if I am the same, but the people who know me really well tend to know. Maybe it is just PMS. Maybe I am just tired. Maybe against all sense and all reason I still miss Frank sometimes as if no time at all has passed. I miss that I could pick the times though, but that isn't how it works. It works by slamming you into a wall at the most unexpected times. It works by dropping you into a hole.

Levi is such a sweet little boy and that helps, although I suspect he would help no matter how nice or otherwise he was. Last night we had pizza. Levi carried it in and I went and did some things outside. When I finally came in Levi had put 2 pieces of pizza on two plates and some drinks. He was so proud of himself. I was proud of him. He's growing into a great little man. A little man that I love so much. I think that made it harder still when that night, he slept so like his brother.

Spontaneity

I was thinking about our latest trip. It was a testament to spontaneity. There was a risk right up until the last moment that the trip would be suddenly radically changed and none of that would be in any of our control. I love this sort of trip. I love staying up at night and decoding the route and activities for the next day and then that plan lasting only as far as the first encounter. This is not a trip for everyone, as you have to walk into it knowing that you have to relax into it. You have to take a dive into the unknown!

It's been a long time since I could exercise my spontaneous genes. Really this is the first time that it has even been possible for probably 20 years. Levi is old enough now and flexible enough as a part of his nature to make it a pleasure rather than a drain.

Before that it was just too hard. Michaela and Robert are not really spontaneous people, esp not quickly. They were not people that loved it when I invited people for dinner (that night)! Oh they were great about letting me do it but they didn't really like it. We went on lots of really fun vacations but they were fairly planned.

Before that there was Frank. Now there is nothing like serious illness to put a cramp in spontaneous holidays. Vacation with Frank had to be planned to a degree that I think most people would never understand. In fact life with Frankie got like that. Planned and then re-planned and then checked again. If things fell apart on our trip the week before last, then we got cold, or had to stay in a hotel, or went home early. All just stories to tell down the track tastefully exaggerated by the requisite 10%! If things fell apart around Frank, someone died, or could have or nearly did. I have only really thought about the level of stress involved in that sort of living now, well down the track. I don't live that stress now and I am very grateful. I am so happy that the stress is down, but I would go back to that stress in a microsecond if only for a second more with Frank. One more impossible dream.

Samford Show and Soccer

Levi and Ty with Shannon about to be flipped around
Levi getting a goal

This waking was much better. He got up early still but he got up and played all by himself. It is a great thing about Levi, he's a fast learner. We had swimming and soccer today and he was very into both of them. It's funny, some weeks he is completely dedicated to both and other times he doesn't want to do either. It must a fatigue thing but it seems random to me.

Last weekend we went to the Samford show but it's taken me this long to get the photos up. It seems we have so much to do and planned on the weekend, that I am actually worse about getting photos up on the weekend than on the week days.

Today Levi had a major meltdown on waking. I think he is very tired but still! He woke at the crack of dawn, before daylight, but that wasn't why he had a meltdown. He had decided that when his little eyelids popped open every morning then I should be around to serve him. I should leap to my feet as soon as he was awake enough to require my services. Unfortunately for him he didn't find a very willing slave. I told him to go and play by himself until I got up.....He cried and cried;

"I need you to be up!"

"When will you be up?"

"It's not the crack of dawn anymore!"

Anyway you get the picture. He continued for so long that I was ready to get up but I couldn't let him win, so I'm lying in bed with the covers over my head and I am bored. I wasn't even tired anymore, but all he had to do was to go and play quietly by himself for a few minutes. He started with things he needed;

"Please, I want a drink of milk!"

Can you put a DVD on for me?"

All of the answers to these was No. Anything that required my getting out of bed to wait on him. It lasted a long time. This is a stubborn child when he wants to be. I would love to tell you that he gets that from his father but I am pretty sure I know where he gets that from....me. Well me and him. He has his fair share at times as well, so poor Levi doesn't have a hope when it comes to stubborn.

Finally I hear a very happy little voice singing and playing quietly all by himself. Yes he is capable of it. So I could get up myself. I let him go for a bit and then asked him if he wanted a drink - Nope he was happy playing.

The rest of the day was spent playing and going to Tom's birthday party. He had a great day, but we will have to see what happens........in the morning!

Clean Cars and other thoughts

Today I took the car to the car wash. Well there is more of a story than that but you knew that. I have about 2 hours on a Friday. Very precious time. Levi free and yet still guilt free time and most importantly free, free. I get out of work at about lunch time on Friday. Levi needs to be picked up at 2.55pm. Generally that gives me about 2 hours to do some sort of chore that would be either twice as long or twice as complicated with a little helper.

Today I decided to use my Scoopon coupon and get the car washed and 'protective coated'. I went to some Eco-friendly place in Kedron. It was odd. The first thing is, as I drive in the guy at the intake spot says to me;

"It will cost you $15 extra because your car is dirty"

OK, Wait a minute here. It's a car wash right? So if the car is actually dirty then it costs more!

I, of course, was incredulous;

"This is a car wash right? Surely you don't expect me to wash the car before I bring it here?"

"But this is more dirt" (We are talking about the outside of the car, remember)

So you will use $15 worth of more water in the first 30 seconds to clean it? I mean really. The first thing they do is hose the thing surely washing off the little or a lot of dirt all with roughly the same amount of water and effort. Anyway, this was a fight I wasn't going to win so I just let him have the car and went into the cafe. Now I had allowed about half an hour, tops three quarters. It took 1.5 hours! (Must have been all that extra dirt!) Of course now that required frantic phone calls to get Levi picked up at school. Luckily he and I were going to a friends house and she ended up taking him, but frantic is the least of what I was feeling.

Then we all went to the disco. The Prep Disco. I tell you there is nothing funnier. There are about 4 kids (all of them girls) who kind of get the dancing thing. The rest of the kids and certainly all the boys were belting around in the half dark trying to whack each other with their glow sticks. It was brilliant. They were all end-of-week tired and regularly someone dissolved into tears, but generally there were happy running kids all over the place.

My heart is sad for you inside

Tonight Levi is a bit sick. Not a whole load but just a little. I told him I was sorry he was sick. Levi said to me that it wasn't my fault so I didn't have to be sorry but I explained about feeling for him and that was a way to let him know that I was a unhappy for him that he was not feeling so good. I asked him if he knew what I meant and he said that he he understood. I asked what he thought I should say. He said;

"My heart is a little sad for you inside"

Now isn't that a beautiful sentiment. There is some sweet wording for empathy. I am going to use that more often.

It has been hard to get back into work mode. I am still in that holiday feeling and not really able to buckle down and get things going again. I am once again up to my ears in work, because one of the Physios that I work with has resigned to work at the Children's Hospital. It will be a while before I can crawl out under the workload that will generate but I think that is a part of the problem. If I lift my head up too high I'll notice just how much work I have to do. OK now I'm just getting whingy. I'm going to bed!

More Photos

Levi being stalked by Velociraptor
Levi with his machine gun, Wodonga Military Museum

Sleeping in the camper

Levi driving a Jeep

The Boy and the Dog and the Tuckerbox

Camperman and Camperboy

I wonder what Levi dreams about? He laughs and smiles and generally has a good time, all while sound asleep. It is all very sweet and you can't help but smile as you listen to him. It would be a happy world if we all had as happy dreams as this little man has.

Levi climbing at Naracoorte Caves with a prehistoric creature
Alexandra Caves

Playing on the beach, Great Ocean Road

Levi at Great Ocean Road

Caves on Great Ocean Road

12 Apostles

Winery

Here are some more photos of The Great Ocean Road and the Naracoorte Caves. The road is everything that you have heard of it and more. Totally worth visiting. I think that we got lucky with going in winter. Sure it was cold and really windy but we were also almost the only people there. Some of the attraction of places like these for me is the remoteness of the scenery. It seems that is easier to feel when there are not 200 people looking over your shoulder.

This is just some of the beautiful pictures and places that we saw. It is a great place to study the world and you can almost watch the coastline being shaped by the waves. Soft limestone being eaten away gradually (or not so gradually) by the relentless onslaught from the Antarctic. It was one of the more interesting facts that I learned on that trip. There is nothing breaking the waves between the Antarctic beaches and the Australian shores. The lethal combination of sometimes 30m waves and grit/sand and salt is just eating away the coastline. For us it's great, as some of the rock is stronger than others it carves some great shapes as time goes on.

It is places like that with as few people around that you can almost feel the hand of God on the earth

Welcome Home!

Levi climbing a sand dune, Adelaide Shores
Climbing Trees

Cartwheeling on the Jumping Pillow

Levi and I arrived back late on Friday night but frankly it has been a few days since I could get the photos sorted. We were in Internet quiet zones the whole trip and it was lovely. I am going to try to put up the photos in order so there is some continuity but it was this time last week that they occurred. We went to relocate a caravan from Adelaide to Sydney but at the last minute they cancelled our deluxe vehicle as it had been rented out....for real! We then went onto a priority list and got a van from Melbourne to Sydney. That left Adelaide to Melbourne, but Mim found a great relocation deal on cars and we were still on.

Levi and I had slept the night at Mim and Mikey's because Jack had arrived with hoards of Japanese travellers. It was easier for us to let them have our beds and we went with Mike to Adelaide. We arrived in Adelaide to be met by one of Mim's uncles. I swear he was the scariest driver that I have been with for a while. Mim inherited her sense of direction from his side of the family. In the 5 minute trip to our caravan park, he got lost twice. However I can't complain; we are still alive and he was nice enough to take us. Then Levi and I had the night by ourselves while the other two caught up with relatives. It was a fabulous day. All we did was to play and walk on the beach. There was jumping pillows and playgrounds and a stretch of beach that goes forever. Levi revels in the one on one time and it was great to have no agenda and all that time.

I love to watch him run and play and to play with him. He is at a great stage. When kids first start to run, it is more of a hurried walk and looks fairly unfinished until it all comes together around about four or five. Now Levi runs with that effortless grace that is characteristic for kids. It is very cleansing for me to watch him. He runs without thinking about it and without breathing fast or hard. He runs and lives with an enthusiasm that is infectious. I love that little man.

New Farm Park and more crazy days

Levi up a tree in the park

Life continues to be chock full of activities! Today we went to New Farm Park to meet up with a friend and have a play. Levi loved the trees and loves to be the first one up them. It was a lovely lunch and early afternoon. Then with an impossibly quick turn around had Luke and Nate over to play and went to Sizzler afterward. We are trying to get as much 'friend' time in for both Levi and I before we do the big trip to the South to do the Adelaide - Sydney trip.

It has been a stressful few days for that trip too. The company cancelled (at the last minute) the relocation. I am sure that they found someone to rent it legitimately. Oh Well that was always a possibility. We have been trying to find alternatives and even if all else fails, we will rent a car and still do the Great Ocean Road!

Medieval Day

Luke's family is putting in a new toilet and while they have the new one, the kids use it as a TV seat.
Levi's Homemade Sword and Shield

Levi with his sword

Levi and Luke fighting the good fight

Proud Knight with his weaponry

Boys all fighting

Yesterday we had a great day! It had an inauspicious start when I found out that the Kid's Medieval Day that we thought we were going to was booked out. So after being disappointed for a few minutes we decided to do a Do It Yourself Medieval Day. Actually thanks to Pete and Cheryl, they were the ones who thought of it.

The swords and shields were cut out of wood with a jigsaw and then we sanded the edges. Aluminium Foil was used for the blade and taped all over with invisible tape to hold it there. The handle was electrical tape. The kids painted the shields and we screwed drawer handles on so they could hold them. They are more durable than any of us were expecting and really not PC as they likely really hurt if you whacked each other. Luckily the kids were great. They whacked the shields but not each other. In fact the only tears were from hurt feelings rather than physical pain. The funniest part of the day was the three little kids all wielding swords racing after Pete as he hightailed it out of there.

The kids (and all the adults) had a blast and we agreed unanimously that our kids had better weaponry than they would ever have had at the public day. Of course there was no comparison but we are sure. The kids don't care. They made fun things with wood. They whacked things with their swords and they laughed lots. A perfect day for a vacation.

Levi Flying High!!

Today we had the first of our free days. Levi had "swimming intensive" class in the morning and then we met Teresa and her two younger kids at McDonalds. Levi of course was happy because Robbie was there. They get on so well it is very fun to watch, but mostly we caught up, gossipped and chatted and did very little watching.

Levi loves to play fight and play 'tricks'. He is getting quite good but I think my hamstring length is getting better in the process as well. He loves to try and get up on my feet and for the first time he did it well tonight. So we got Jane down to videotape his achievement. Hers is the voice that you hear in the video. I have to keep my tummy muscles quite tight as regularly he falls on them. He does lose it at the end and I may even look at sending the footage to Funniest Home Videos, just for the sudden fall at the end..

Happy 4th of July

Kids building a fire by the creek



Pippy helping to collect firewood

We had a great day today. We had some friends over for a 4th of July BBQ and celebrated by going to the creek and building a fire. The kids love to build fires and they were just happy collecting firewood and building it up. We had a pavlova decorated as the American Flag and lots of food and drink. It was a perfect winter day. Beautiful, clear and warm in the sun but still cold in the shade. It made me think about some of those rights that we have, that are so easy to forget and were so hard fought in so many different countries. Here's to all those countries who already have gained them and a wish for the others to finally achieve them:

Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite !!!

Little Milestones

Today we had another little milestone. Today we bought Levi his first tie shoes. He doesn't actually know how to tie his shoes yet but I figure we won't ever get there unless he first has shoes to practice on. On top of that he is about to spend a week in a campervan with an OT. If she can't teach him that in a week there is something wrong.

Now it is official. The Campervan Relocation Experiment kicks off next Saturday. We will go from Adelaide to Sydney. The best part of that is that it takes in what is said to be one of the best drives in Australia, The Great Ocean Road. We can see spectacular scenery and the march of the Fairy Penguins and the trip has enough little towns that we can stop and start all over the place. I have now booked flights to Adelaide and will do the other side soon. Tomorrow is the Fourth of July and in the spirit of trying to maintain both nationalities within Levi, we are having a BBQ to celebrate. We are having a wonderful family over to help us celebrate. I hope that the weather continues to co operate and it is cold sunshine all day.

Sydney Photos

Levi at the top of Sydney Tower

Art on Cockatoo Island, all a mixture of both art and machinery

Levi running on Shantytown. The art was designed to be the rooftops of a shantytown. People were allowed to walk over the top, symbolizing the white oppressors walking over the people underneath.

Levi jumping under the Exploding Cars. He found blocks to jump across




Levi chasing Seagulls. Look at that backdrop!

Here are some photos from the last day in Sydney, before things got bad on the Levi tummy front. It was a great day. First of all, I got the US Consulate to do something that I never thought it was ever capable of. I got it to be flexible. I had to get Levi's passport photos done in the same office and so I went up to the Consulate afterward to see if they would just do the passport that day even though his appointment was the next day.....and they DID. It saved my sanity the next day, as it would have been a pain to take all our luggage there and then get to the airport.

Then we went to the Sydney Tower. Levi was very interested in the telescopes and was more excited about finding the speed signs painted on the roads. Whatever works though. He was happy. Then we went to Biennale on Cockatoo Island. Levi and I met up with Lenore and we went across on a ferry under the Harbour Bridge. It was a perfect winter's day. The water was a beautiful blue and the sky a lighter shade. Just gorgeous. Levi loved running around chasing seagulls and we had lunch on an island in one of the best harbours in the world. The art work was great too. There are not many things that you can take a 5 year old and a 75 year old and still have everyone interested. The art was pretty interactive. Levi loved the Exploding cars and the Shantytown the best, but mostly because he could run and jump on both of them. It was a great day and Levi had a lot of fun. We both had a lot of fun.

Today Mim and I finalized our Relocation Expedition. We will be taking a Deluxe 5 berth Campervan from Adelaide to Sydney for a grand total of $5 a day. They pay the insurance and the fuel. We pay site fees if we stop in a caravan park, but other than that we just pay flights and food. It will be fun to investigate if this is a viable option for down the track as it will be a cheap way to see huge chunks of Australia. It would be a great if at least once a year we could do perhaps a week somewhere in Australia and see something that we haven't before. I am hoping this will be a success as it would be so much fun and adventurous enough as he gets older and can help with the planning. It could be a fun thing to do with visitors from overseas. In fact I really just can't wait!

OK, That's the lot then

I am going to put up more photos of our trip but unfortunately have been pretty busy since I got home. Levi has been clingy and wouldn't stay in bed. He needed to have me lie beside him and even then wouldn't go to sleep. He finally closed his eyes and I left him.

Five minutes later he was back out again and just as I was about to get cranky, he got a surprised look on his face and threw up everywhere. Actually I was just looking for an excuse to wash all the floors......in winter......in the middle of the night. Anyway, I handed him a bucket for the finale and after he finished he handed it back saying,

"OK, That's the lot then."

How I love that Boy!