Another day, another dollar

Today was a normal enough day. I went to work. Levi went to Vacation care. He and I talked about camping next to the creek at our house when it gets dry enough. That quickly translated to 'Friday night' to his ears and now I think we will be camping by the creek tomorrow night come heel or high water, but of those two it's the latter that I am more concerned about. Not really though. It hasn't rained that much, just enough to be a little annoying and making the clean up part of camping harder.

Levi can't wait. He is very excited and collapsed into tears this afternoon when he thought that I forgot. I had just misunderstood what he was asking. I think that most of the crying was fatigue. It would be a perfect thing for money to suddenly appear and for me to not have to work over his vacations, but that is just not reality for either of us. Next holiday is only a term away and that is the big one. We will have all sorts of time to relax then, when we have a whole 5 some weeks. We are definitely counting the days.

Work has been really interesting lately. Our computers are failing and the wait time to open documents is about 5 minutes, to save documents about 10 - 15 minutes and to start the computer itself has been from 30 mins to not opening at all. It means that there is a lot of down time, when you can't really start something else, but also you can't do anything. It degenerates fairly quickly into practical jokes and shooting Nerf guns at each other. In the same way that my Mother reported from every single Parent - Teacher night; "Sue knows exactly where the line is and doesn't step over it"; I am now concerned as we push closer to that line. I think that I am starting to step back again from that edge. I hope that the rest of my team are old enough and smart enough to start to take that step back as well. I also hope that the computers start to respond again, making stepping over the line much less likely.

Day Off??

Levi in the pool

Today I had a day off. Well it was supposed to be a day off. Then I had to go to work to do a media thing for the Shark Bait Kids. I don't mind doing it, but it means that Levi came with me. So he got to play in the pool while they were taking photos of the other kids. Also he could help entertain one of the little sisters, or more likely she could entertain him. The whole thing was at the Corinda pool, so after about a 50 minute trip each way, my day off constituted about 5 hours of work. Watch me be in trouble for working too many hours again this week!

I am excited for the term to start again. I love Fourth term because we get to do the Shark Bait Program, but mostly I am excited because at the end of this term I get to go to USA. Levi is also counting days and weeks.

Hens and other things

Anna and Katie

This weekend we went to Kath's Hens lunch. By we I meant Jo and I. Levi was excluded by virtue of his sex and went to Mim's to play with her nephew. We had a few drinks, learned how to belly dance and took some bath bombs home. It was actually a lot of fun and not as bad as my mind had played out. I think that I am always nervous about fancy lunches and dinners. Levi got to use the bath bombs the last two nights and he has come out smelling like a rose (literally) and very soft. It is a pity to waste them on a five year old, but the only bath we have in the house is the laundry tub. I'm thinking even Levi will be too big for that in only about a year.

I had Monday off as well and was given the most incredible gift of all. Levi slept in. He slept in on a day when I could also sleep in. Amazing! Normally he only sleeps in on days that I have to go to work and so I have to drag him out of bed. Then on days that I can actually sleep in, Levi gets up before dawn has even cracked the horizon. So it is a gift to have him sleep in when I can as well. We did almost nothing until about noon. We played with Lego and played board games. We read books. Pretty much it was relaxing.

Then I had to have a Mammogram, so he went to play with friends. At one point a lady looked at me and said "You are denser than last year". I said "I know, it's a sign of age, but what about the mammogram?" At least she had the grace to laugh.

Australia Zoo

Jumping off the Slide

Meeting Ben 10

Patting a baby Alligator

Crocs

Face paint

Australia Zoo isn't making any money off us anymore! Today we went up at about 10am and came back about 1pm and spent only the cost of the petrol. The boys had a lot of fun and there were Ben 10 things everywhere for the school holidays. It was brilliant. We played on slides and jumping castles and watched a show and then had a monumental collapse from the little one before coming home!

Mum, Do you think?

I have four days off now, starting tonight. I think that I will be very pleased. The computers at work have been punishingly slow lately and it is frustrating to have to wait for the cursor to catch up esp when you are typing as slowly as I do. Levi will be pleased that I have some time off as well. We are going to Australia Zoo tomorrow as we have free passes now so it gives us somewhere to go that has free rides and animals to feed. As the rain has stopped it will be a great day.

Tonight Levi hit me between the eyes again. No, not really, but he might as well have. He was tired again as he had played all day with a friend. He snuggled up beside me after we had finished our night's chapter of "Stink and the Incredible Shrinking Kid". He was in an introspective mood and that should have warned me to get prepared but I am never really prepared enough.

His little eyes filled with tears and he said to me; "Mum, do you think that Frankie would have liked me?"

Sometimes it is almost more than I can bear but he deserved an honest answer. So I said; "Yes, Honey he would have loved you. He loved Ross and Evan and would have loved to be a big brother too"

Then he said,"I am a big brother and a little brother. Frankie is older than me and he would be 10 now but he is only really 3 and then I am older!"

He has now gone off to sleep quite happily, but I think that I will take a little longer to get to sleep tonight. It is true though. Frankie would have loved his brother. I just wish they could have met just once. And late at night when I can can snuggle next to Levi and feel his easy clean, painfree breaths beneath my hand, I'll wish for a lot more ........ and cry myself to sleep ...... again.

Excited Much?

Levi found the new snow boots and socks that I found at an End of Season sale yesterday. So he put both pairs of socks on with his boots. Initially he thought that he might have to grow into them a little but after a minute or so they were 'just right'. He is so excited about the trip in December. I don't know how I am going to hold him back for another few months. He is talking all the time about what we are going to do. I hope with can do at least some of those things.

Invisible Poles

Scooter boy

We spent Sunday morning at the skate park. It seems that we have cracked the secret of the skate park. Teenagers don't get up early, esp on Sundays after a big Saturday night. It means that the kids get the skate park to themselves until about 10.30 and then they start to show up. It is more to protect the other kids from ours than anything. The little kids tend to just start riding regardless if it is straight in front of another rider. They have little peripheral vision for anyone and it seems that we as adults spend a lot of time apologizing for them if there are bigger kids there. I think they will get the rules in time but before that, there is always early Sunday morning.

This morning after moaning and whinging all weekend about attending Vacation Care, I was very nervous that the morning would involve me dragging him kicking and screaming to Care. Instead just to throw me off balance, he got up all happy and asked if he had to put on a school uniform or if he got to wear normal clothes. After I assured him that normal clothes were fine and he happily trotted off to get them on.

I dropped him off and there was a little girl already there. She was holding on to the post holding up the building in the centre of the room. As we came in she looked at Levi conspiratorially and said;

"This is the invisible pole, if you hold onto it, no one can see you"
Levi happily joined her holding the pole and the staff 'looked' for them. It was the easiest transfer it has been for, well, ever.

Fuel the Jet

Today was the first day of school holidays, but was just really another Saturday as Levi will go to Vacation Care. He started the day with no snot and ended the day with a bad nose and is now snoring in my room. I hope it isn't the start of another long few weeks of illness for him esp at the start of the holidays.

We built a jet today. It suffered from being manhandled too quickly with too little glue and is sitting there waiting for the paint to dry so I can stick the right wing back on. I hope to put it back on more strongly than before, but I think to survive the treatment it will get, there would need to be nails involved, or at least stronger glue.

Cuddle Rock

Today as I was leaving for work, Levi stopped me to give me a 'cuddle rock'. He said that the rock was for me to have in my bag and when I needed a cuddle from him, I could just hold onto the rock and it would be the same as getting a cuddle from him. He was very insistent that I carried it in my bag all day. I did. The irony was that it wasn't even a rock ....... it was a piece of bark!!

Wacky Wednesday!

Levi had a free dress day at school. They had to wear as 'wacky' as possible clothes and Levi went all out. Heck he glowed in the dark! Here are some photos! He loved it and I had to take photos with the phone to keep him happy.

Solving Storage and Self Esteem

So, What do you do when you can't find enough storage and there is just nowhere to put anything?

You store your children in the furniture!

Of Course!

This is where I found Levi
Why is it that kids always put themselves in small confined spaces?

It has been an interesting day. It has been one of those low self esteem days for me. I'm sure everyone has them. Days when you aren't a good enough anything. Not a good enough Physio, not a good enough mother, not a good enough daughter, not a good enough friend. I am sure that most of the damage is done internally. No one is really telling me those things. Just that little voice inside that tells you that it is not enough. My response is to try to think positively and know that, for me at least, it is temporary.

Some of it is that I have decided that I really am different. My cousin is getting married and Levi and I have been invited. Now I understand what most people, esp most girls are like, but I really truly would rather get my nails pulled than go through the rigmarole of getting frocked up. I am struggling to get up the enthusiasm to go to the Hen's lunch, let alone the wedding. Now don't get me wrong. I love Kath and Ged and think that they will have a long and very happy life. I think that it will be a great wedding. I just would rather sit on a beach beside them and toast them with a few beers. I am thinking of using Levi as an excuse. Taking him to the wedding and then leaving when he gets tired.

But I really am different. It is such hard work for me to do balls and weddings. I am not anti social. I love to go to dinner and to have people over, although that is mostly impossible at the moment. There is nowhere to eat in my house! I do love having afternoon tea and love to chat with friends. I love to sit around in shorts and Tshirts and share Diet Cokes. But those big dos, that require haircuts and makeup and new dresses. Those are torture.

I also have days where the weight I carry is a little much. Today was one such day and there is no real reason behind it. It is not any anniversary and there was no real trigger, none that I remember anyway. It gives a heavy edge to the day regardless of how well you handle it. So I was a little low, all day, until I put Levi to bed!

We snuggled up in the bed after I read him stories and he put his face close to mine and he said;

"Mum you are the best Mum of all"

and with that my self esteem rocketed, and I decided (for today at least), maybe different is OK. Maybe even, different is better

Car Antics

Levi had a great morning. Great, until I had the audacity to bring out his school shirt. Then he was 'sick'. I think he got used to being off school sick and then he had a week without me. He wants more time though. He was grumpy when I wouldn't let him off school even though he was "four truthful stars telling the truth". Yes, I have no idea what that is either, but I assume they are doing telling the truth in school. By the time I picked Levi up from After School Care he was playing happily and wanted to stay a few more minutes.

He has an unusual way of getting into the car now and I videoed it to put here so I didn't forget it. He loves it that he can climb on the car and climb in either the sun roof or my window. The only thing that I had to video it on was the iphone, so the quality is crook.

Blading

Ty and Levi playing
Levi learning to Roller Blade

The tongue helps you to scooter

This past week, I spent in Townsville. Townsville is about a month ahead on the trip to summer and it was getting quite warm there. It is not much of a trip for us though. The days are incredibly long and tiring. I get very homesick because I really miss being with Levi. He is just fine with Jo but still, I miss him. While I was away, it seems my computer was busy without me. Hackers annoy me as I can see little use in their profession and just wish they would put their skills to a more useful pastime.

This weekend we just did the usual kid thing. We mostly played on scooters and roller blades. I decided that if Levi could get going on his bike, we could do some trails together. However as he wouldn't have the speed, my theory was that I would roller blade. Now that was good theory, apart from one glaring flaw.........I can't roller blade. Not a problem, I thought, I'll just learn. So that is what the last few weekends have been. However it has been wiping me out. It is amazing just how many muscles you use when you don't know what you are doing! Levi is also trying to learn.

Father's Day

Today we played board games and not a lot else. It's Father's day here and I find that it isn't a day that I really think of my Dad much. Dad didn't really celebrate things like that and it has translated into being a fairly non traumatic day, now that he is dead. I mean I miss him, but not more today than other days. I think that I am lucky like that. the days I remember Dad are more distant for me as I was not living in the same country for years before he died and only moved home after he had died. The days that I miss my Dad are the days that Levi does something very Don-like or wants an explanation that only Don could really give him. Levi already has concepts particularly in mathematics, that I am struggling to understand. My mind just doesn't work that way. He just has naturally what I could only wish for. But I think that is what it all comes down to.

What do you really wish for?

I wish they had more time together. That is what I really miss. I miss time that could have been. I miss how happy Levi would have made Dad and vice versa. I miss the ability that my father had to simplify explanations without feeling like you are an idiot, esp with children. It is a rare ability.

Levi called Robert today to wish him Happy Father's Day even though it isn't Father's day in USA. Robert has a message on his phone, "I can't take your call right now.....". Levi got to the message and then is sitting in the back of the car with the phone doing nothing. I know that I have a great international call rate but it is a bit much to let him sit there with an open line.

"What are you doing"

"Dad said he couldn't take my call right now, but it's OK, I am happy to wait for him!"

He is very sweet!

Spring planting and Riverfire

Levi's Flowers
Levi teaching Butcher birds how to chew

Levi herding grubs

Baby Butcher bird eating grubs

Levi and I planted our spring garden today. Planting with kids has become so much easier! Now seeds come in seed tapes. Paper tapes with the seeds in them, perfectly spaced and held that way. Once you plant them and water them, the paper dissolves and the seeds germinate. It is great and almost foolproof for kids. The real proof will be in about 2 weeks when we see if they come up but I have high hopes for lots of little carrots and peas. During the digging, we found a bunch of grubs. Who knows what they were supposed to turn into, but Levi rounded them all up and corralled them on the platform we use to feed the birds. Never shy to take up a free meal, we had plenty of butcher birds and a few baby ones.

We had Zac and Alex over for most of the day, because Di has had surgery. She went in on Thursday and the kids were getting a bit stir crazy. There was the change in schedule for a start but then all the stress of having Mum in hospital. So the kids wore off steam playing all day and then they all stayed up late to watch Riverfire.

Day off

Enough pillows for you?

Levi was a little wild tonight. Who knows why? He has made some things for Robert for Father's day and I'll send them out when I get a chance. He wouldn't tell me what was in there because it was a surprise for "everyone". I had to go and ask the teacher so I can label the customs form.

I had a day off today, but didn't get much done. I think my Mum is really lonely now that Jane has gone to Abu Dhabi. Jane used to spend most meals with her, so I think it is pretty quiet with Levi at school and me at work. I hope that she can find some things to fill the time. In the holidays she is going to the beach for 2 weeks. I am working the whole time, but I likely wouldn't have gone to the island anyway. I don't get a lot of relaxation time there and have to be right 'on' Levi all the time to make sure that he complies by all the rules and to make sure he doesn't continually get into trouble. Pretty much, it is more fun for us to drive to the beach for a day and drive home than to go somewhere with such high expectations. Levi will have a couple of days with his friends over the holidays, and then the rest of the time will be in Vacation care. I don't have much time off over the holidays and will save it all for Christmas. I can't wait for Christmas.

Much Better Night and Day

Levi has been much better all around the last few days and it has been a huge relief to me. I am so happy that the last two nights he has slept through. In fact, he was so asleep last night that he was still asleep when I left for work in the morning. Suddenly things are looking up and it is a great feeling.

Today Levi had his Father's day event with Mikey. He loved it. They made pictures together and spent some time at the Lego table. Mike was fun afterward. He said that some of the Dad's were very serious about their Lego. One little boy said "Let's put in a Doggy door Dad" and his Dad said "We are working on a wall here!" Ah well perhaps they are more relaxed about play at home.

Then afterward we all went out for dinner to Sizzler. It was Mim's birthday this week, so we celebrated that too. Mim and I both had impossible days at work, so it was nice to not have to cook and to hype up the little man on sugar before bed time. Ah well it doesn't happen very often.

Levi at Sizzler - much sugar on board?

Veiled Discrimination

Levi slept through the night last night for the first time in weeks. There was no midnight crying or pain. He just slept the whole night peacefully. I think that tonight will be the big test, but I have high hopes now. He is sleeping very quietly in there now.

Tomorrow is the Father's day event at Levi's school. I am having trouble with the discrimination that is involved here. I am a little annoyed by the whole thing. The Mother's day event was at 1.30pm on a Thursday. We got about a weeks notice only. The Father's day event is 5 - 6 pm also on a Thursday. They get two weeks notice. Now I might be reading a little too much into all of this, but it seems to me that the implication of these times is that Mum stays home and looks after the kids and is therefore available at short notice in the middle of the day. For Dad however, the implication is that he works and needs more notice to alter his schedule, even if only to get home a little earlier that day. Consequently, I missed the Mother's day thing because there was no way on earth I could change my schedule with that little notice.

Anyway, Mikey is going to rock along to be the random Father for Levi at the afternoon tea and then we will all go out for dinner, somewhere really ritzy.....like Sizzler. Levi is very clear about the whole thing. He wanted me to first ask Robert if he could come along because he is his real Dad, then he has separated all the events/presents. There are the send away things that he is making for Robert and there is the stuff they are doing at this event, and that is for Mikey. He is very sweet and wants to make sure that no one gets left out. He loves making things for people he loves.