Friday, September 7, 2012

New Things

We are moving.  Finally it is all public knowledge enough that I can talk about it.  Levi and I are moving back to USA.  We are moving out from under this house and 8500 miles north and east.  I have a new job in Roseburg, Oregon and it works on the school schedule.  It means that after years of feeling bad about how much time I am not bringing Levi up, I can actually have a work schedule that coincides with his school schedule.  We will get vacations together and even though he will need to spend some time in After School care, he won't be in there until close to closing. 
 
I am leaving much behind, and that is killing me but I think that the long term benefit for both of us is worth all that in the end.  Levi is excited.  He will be in shouting distance of his brothers (or an hour and a half in the car), but at least within weekend/birthday/Christmas distance.  I too am getting excited but only in between bouts of nervousness and fear.  I feel bad leaving my kids here.  I care so much about how they are fairing but know that I can only give them tools and I can't be that tool.  I need to do what is right for Levi and I and yet I will try to help from a distance.  I don't know!  Now even my writing is sounding like drivel. 
 
I have so much to do but everything is fraught.  Everything.  Staying here.  Going to USA.  I don't even know where to start 

No comments:

Post a Comment