Australia Zoo and Halloween

 Levi digging out the fossils

 Lorikeet and baby wombat

 Today we had a great day.....again.  Levi had the best swimming lesson I've seen in a while.  He had a new teacher and she just seemed to really get all the kids and they all had a great lesson.  Levi is really pretty good now but he still needs some touch ups.  Then we went to Australia zoo.

I love those free tickets.  We spent a grand total of $0 and we had a full morning there digging up dinosaurs and feeding kangaroos.  We went to the show, but missed the warm up chatting.  We are getting better at that timing too.  The bird show was great this time.  The birds were all in a 5 year old mood.  They all flew around the stadium as they were supposed to and they all performed how they were supposed to, but when they were supposed to go home, none of them did.  They just wanted to be out, much to the frustration of the handlers.  It was so much fun to watch them all try to convince a flock of random unruly birds into doing what they were supposed to do rather than what they all wanted to do.  The birds won.  Even when the show was over and we all were walking out, there were the handlers, all still waiting for the birds.

Ruby over for Trick or Treating

When we got home, we had Ruby over for trick or treating.  She had dressed up as a witch and Levi was so excited to have her over.  Georgie and I worked out the logistics of the concert next week.  It will be fabulous.

Good Day

We had a good day.  Actually it was about time.  We got up early and went to Shark Bait Kids.  Levi swam less this time but I think it was because he was tired and I wasn't in the water.  Then we drove home by the customary stop at Maccas for lunch and a play in the play structure.  Levi had a blast and then we drove home.

This afternoon, Levi made a picture for Ruby as she is coming by tomorrow to trick or treat.  In USA it is a huge affair, but here I had to ask her Mum what she wanted us to give Ruby.  I think that I will get a few little things as well, to make it more like real Halloween.  Then we jumped on the trampoline and played board games and things under he went to bed.  It was a great day for me to remember how much fun a real day with a sweet boy can be.  It reminded me that laughing with a child is the best medicine for anything. 

The Good, The Bad and the Really Ugly

It was an up and down day.  Actually it has been an up and down week.  Some of it is that today, 3 years ago, Dad died.  But that is not all of it I'm sure.  Lets start with the 'good' though.

This afternoon I picked up my new vacuum cleaner that I won from Dyson.  It is this and I already love it.  I thought hard about just selling the thing on ebay but decided that a good vacuum probably didn't hurt Levi's asthma either.  We went and picked it up with the minimum of fuss.  I walked in and gave my name and they handed me a $1000 vacuum.  No check of my licence, no questions asked, just "here is your vacuum".  Then we drove home.

Then the bad.  I think that I am mad with God at the moment.  I understand many things but I will never really understand God when so many children have to suffer.  It seems that I can easily justify it, if there is no God.  I get that genetics isn't a clean or precise action.  Mistakes happen all the time and some of those mistakes are just devastating.  What I don't get is what God would gain from that.  I hate that SMA I even exists.  It sucks that families have to face this.  The other problem is, that no matter how much I try and no matter how well I can do it in public, I really just can't completely dissociate these children from mine.  I can't completely make that mother separate from me.  On top of that, while I am struggling to stay happy and stay on top of things, this is what Levi dug up to wear to bed tonight:

He found the clothes that I had put away for summer and was getting hot at night (as you can see by his hair).  He is welcome to them and I am glad to see him in them.  But ..... This is the last time I saw those PJs:

It means that at 5, Levi is now fitting into the last clothes that Frank wore.  I have been fine all along with Levi wearing Frank's things, but I hadn't realized that it would get harder as Levi aged, because the clothes would put Frank older, sicker and fatter.  It would also put my memories of those clothes, more and more charged with emotion.  I think that I am going to just have to break fairly soon and just buy new clothes for Levi.  After tonight, I think that will be soon.

 

Well, what about the 'ugly'.  It was really ugly.  I picked Levi up from school today and because his knee was 'itchy' he was unable to walk, broke down in a screaming tantrum and had to get carried to the car.  Before he was carried to the car (not by me, I might add), he lay down on the ground and dragged himself along.  I think that he is getting really tired toward the end of the week esp as we get closer to the end of the year.  I hope that our holiday is not so full on that it doesn't give him a rest.  At least he won't be having long days or stressful ones.

10 Days

10 days.  It is something that I have been thinking about today.  10 days is enough for some countries to fight wars and is long enough to 'look younger' or even 'shake the world'.  Unfortunately it can change whole lives as well.  Today I saw a little family who 10 days ago had a normal little baby; a beautiful, intelligent, interactive little boy.  He might have been a little floppy and he may have been a little behind his peers, but if they just "gave him enough time" he would catch up. 

Today they have a baby who likely won't make it to his first birthday.  Statistically the odds are against him.  It is so hard to sit back, knowing what is in the future for these families.  What have I got to offer?  What has anyone really to offer?  Oh I can do my job.  I can get him feeding well and get him positioned so he can play well.  I can do that and more, but what I think they need more than anything else, is to have someone walk beside them.  I am hoping that we can do that.  I am hoping that I can do that.  I am hoping that this family has the same kind of support they I had and our family had when we walked that same walk.  It is incredible to me how much lives can change in that week.  It is incredible how much I hurt for them.  I hope that I can make that path easier for them.  It is not an easy path, but perhaps my team can make that road smoother than it would otherwise have been.  We can't stop them hurting, but perhaps by hurting with them, it will make them feel less alone. 

Walking with Dinosaurs

Walking with Velociraptors rather!  There are dinosaur skeletons in our newspaper.  They are to be put together as a big jigsaw puzzle and we just picked ours up.  The paper is delivered here at the bottom of the hill on the other side of the causeway.  I talked to the guy who delivers them and every day he is saving our dinosaurs, because we rarely get to the Newsagent.  Today we got 9 dinosaurs.  We put together the Velociraptor.  A little too hard for Levi by himself but not for both of us. 

Tonight I also bought Levi's birthday present.  I know that I am nearly 8 months early, but it was the best option.  The big dinos are coming on tour and we are going to see them.  I got tickets for Sunday 12th June, so I imagine it will be a very busy weekend as likely his birthday party will be that Saturday. 

Sunday at the park

Levi and his mates at the skate park

Sunday, we went to the skate park again.  It is starting to get hot and Levi now sweats up a storm but he loves the skate park.  We go really early in the morning before the big kids get there and then they play until we get swamped by the teenagers.  After our kids take out the big kids a few times, I think they are really pleased to see us go.  We have been having big weekends and Levi and I are both exhausted by the end of them.  I am starting to count the days to the holiday and Levi thinks about USA all the time.  He called Robert on Sunday as well to say Hi and for the first time talked to the answering machine without my prompting him.  Who knows what he said, but it's the thought that counts!

I gave Levi a haircut after the skate park.  He was starting to look a lot like Lincoln Lewis but looked great afterward.  His hair is hard to cut now, because he spends so much time in the chlorine that his hair is getting crunchy.  It will be easier with less hair!

Man Training

Today was a typical Saturday.  We got up early and went to Shark Bait Kids.  Levi is now swimming most of the time we are there which is about 4 hours.  It must exhaust him but he just keeps going and going.  He is loving learning to use the regulator and spending time under the water.  The kids all love him and he loves them.  Pretty much win/win for everyone.  

On the way home we picked up Ty so Levi could have a friend and a bit of a play.  They were actually both pretty tired so for some of the playdate they watched "How to train your dragon".  Levi had no trouble watching it on the small screen and not in three D.  I finally saw the end of the movie that had been so ill fated for me in the past.  Initially Levi and i had gone to see the movie at the cinema, but the fire and throwing swords in 3D all proved too much for Levi.  He wanted to go home part way through the movie.  i gave him the iphone and asked if he could sit there and play (So I could watch the movie).  He didn't want to listen either as the sounds were too scary.  I finally paid attention and remembered why and for whom we were at the movie.  We left.  

About three weeks later we were in Kmart and as Levi was looking at books, I walked past a kid's book of the movie.  I thought "Fabulous, I can see how it finishes".  So I started reading.  Just as I got to the point where we had left the movie, a lady walking past had a big seizure next to me and fell on the ground.  Now I know very well that there is little I can do in this situation and in fact could have stood there and finished the book without altering her care, but I also knew just how bad it would have 'looked'.  So I stopped reading, stopped the person who wanted to put something in her mouth and got help and then resolved myself to never knowing the end of the movie.  

I went to a friend's 40th birthday party tonight and Levi was babysat by his cousin Sam.  Sam came over all happy and prepared for some 'Man Training'.  Sam needed a shave, so instead of shaving at home, he brought extra stuff and he and Levi had a shave together.  Levi had a blast ........ and then went to bed.  He is trashed!