Powderfinger

Levi had so much fun!! It was great.  First off I took him out of school at about 12.30 and we went home and napped.  He and I snuggled up in bed and eventually he nodded off.  He was so excited it was hard to wind him down, but eventually he settled and slept for just under an hour.  He had a shower when he woke up and then we had a half an hour to kill.  Zac and Alex were over catching tadpoles in the slimy green goose dam.  By the time I got up to the dam Levi was already there.  He was inordinately self controlled and even told his friends that he couldn't catch taddies because he had to stay clean. 

Then Georgie and Ruby came to pick him up.  They had dinner and played around back stage.

 Ruby, Levi and Ian

After they had dinner, they wandered in and out of Jet.  They had perfect seats and could go backwards and forwards with the other Minifingers (the kids of the band).  Levi got his own Minifingers All Access Pass and a wristband that would get him, well, anywhere really!

Then Powderfinger came on.  Levi loved all the drama of it all.  He loved the music but he wasn't as used to the sensory input of lights and music.  Even with the headphones on, he really only coped for 2 big songs.  I got a text from Georgie and came in and picked him up.  In the meantime, Pam and I had decided to go out to see Inception.  She didn't have any appendages that night either, so we went to dinner, bought movie tickets and right as we almost got into the cinema, there was a text, to go and get him.  Oh well, it was fun to drive fully into the back of the River Stage while the band was playing and get the mancub.  The whole way home, he raved about how much fun it all was!

He will be talking about this for a while!!

Not Much

OK I wish that I could say I am having a fantastic day today, but it wasn't much better.  On top of that, pretty much the whole office had a bad day.  One of the young Physios that I work with cut a kid today with the cast saw.  We have all done it and she did it less than most.  She barely broke the skin.  When I did it as a young Physio in Michigan, the poor guy needed 10 stitches.  Yep, I never do anything by halves.  This sweet thing was so upset, it took me about an hour to calm her down.  The child's Mum was very relaxed and even called later to see how the Physio was doing. 

Levi has been as excited as any one child can be to go to the Powderfinger concert with Ruby.  Tonight he said that he thought that I was going and that is why he was so excited.  He said he didn't want to go without me.  I don't think that it is easy to stop at this point, but I don't really understand why Levi is so freaking timid.  It drives me nuts at time.  He gets these great opportunities but he stresses about them.   It is not that different from just going to her place and playing, but if it's a bit different, he is nervous.  I am trying to see it from his point of view but I'll have to say, sometimes it is hard.

My work isn't much better.  It is still stressful but I have some wonderful people that I work with in Strathpine.  We went for coffee this morning, and it was nice to just be with some normal people, talking about normal things and reacting normally. 

Long Day

I love my work.  I love seeing kids and interacting with families, but that is not all of what I am now.  Now that I am more of a big cheese, it has become harder.  I am not a big cheese, or even a Tasty Cheddar, probably more of a Gouda or Colby.  I love the kids more than anything and I love to help the families, it's dealing with the staff issues that gets hard for me.  Today made me uneasy again.  I hate feeling like that.  It made me change the way I drove home and look over my shoulder again.  OK to be fair, I drive a different way home everyday without a trigger, but I don't really look over my shoulder any more.  It is weird for me to be thrown by things like this.  It is always a time that I feel like there is the distinct possibility that someone is going to take a swing at me.  If someone actually does take that swing, I am fine, because I just react, but it is more the threat that sits there unacted on.  Then my imagination takes over and I can think of plenty of things that are worse than that simple punch.

Levi is always a balm for me on days like this.  He has a very simple look on life and it begins and ends with me.  That is great but there are days when I just want to be able to 'not cope'.  I want to have days where I don't have to pull it all together as soon as I reach After School Care.  I wish that I could just come home and curl up into a foetal position and someone brings me a cup of coffee and is just there.  I love Levi but it is unrelenting.  I get a lot of peace from him, but at times, just wish that I could have just 1 minute when I didn't have to be firing on all cylinders.  I have days that I wish I worked somewhere like McDonalds where the worse that can happen is that some one's hamburger is wrong. 

Yes, I'm grumpy and tired.  Tomorrow I will be better.  Either that or I will pick myself up again and keep going regardless

Sunday

Today, we played, and played and played!!

Saturday

 Levi playing underwater

Today was better all around.  Levi was lovely to have around.  The only downside to yesterday was that now he wants me to lie beside him when he goes to sleep.  I love to, but I have to be careful that I don't indulge that too much.  He would then need me to do it every night. 

Levi loves the Shark Bait Kids.  He swims with the kids for a little while and then he gets out and draws with whoever is out of the pool that day.  It wipes him out but he loves it.  The routine is then that we get him Maccas for lunch and then go home.  We have some quiet time and then we do something else.  Today we worked.  I mowed and he attacked the prickly weeds with big spikes of metal.  Where he found the big spikes I've no idea but they were longer than his forearm and looked like railway spikes.  He wielded them for about an hour.  Once again he has gone to bed early. 

And so it starts again

Friday, Pajamas and Movies

Levi has been really tired and is starting to not cope at times.  He is on a hair trigger and will cry at the least provocation.  I had Friday off and so I took Levi out of school.  I have to remember that he is really only five and really only five and a quarter.  School has been hard work for him, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

I took him out and we stayed in our Pajamas and watched movies most of the day.  He painted and played with Legos, but the most important thing was that we had no agenda, no timetable and no need to DO anything.  It was heaven.  The other and likely more important thing was that Levi napped for 2 hours and then he asked to go to bed at 6.30pm instead of 7pm.  I think it reset him.  He woke up a different boy and has been back to the coping, sweet boy that I am used to having around.  It has been a blessing.  Now lets hope that it lasts the 35ish days left.

Freezing

Last night, Levi was again completely trashed.  He is just getting more and more tired.  I am hoping that he can pull it together for the full week.  There is a part of me that thinks he is just a little too young for these long days at school.  I do like that he is at school but I'm not sure that he needs to be there just yet. He loves it but at this time of the year he is just exhausted and there is no real light at the end of the tunnel for several weeks.  Some of it is my fault.  I am working every Saturday at the moment with the Shark Bait Kids and Levi spends most of that swimming around and generally interacting with the kids.  They love him there and always ask where he is if they haven't seen him yet.  But it does mean that there is little time on the weekend for him to have 'no agenda'. 

Kids these days have so much less freedom.  Admittedly we had way too much, but there is a happy medium.  I know that I am failing him a little in this.  As an only child, he has to either play by himself or play with me and that leaves him either completely on his own or playing adult directed games.  Even if I don't direct the games, there is still an adult there and then the play is different.  It means that he works at it a little no matter what. 

Anyway he is tired.  Last night putting him to bed he ended up crying himself to sleep because he was "freezing to death" and "going to die of the coldness".  Now it's hot here and Levi (and I) both run hot anyway.  He was in PJ Shorts and no shirt.  He wouldn't wear more and he wouldn't put the covers on, all of which added up to me to just being WAY too tired and that he just needed sleep, even if he had to cry to get there quickly.  Sweet boy.