A day in paradise

 Today was one of those beautiful days that reminds me of why I really am in Australia.  It was one of the rare days that Levi actually slept in for starters and I think that actually having enough sleep is a start.  We missed his swimming lesson at 7.30am because I refuse to wake a sleeping child, really .... ever.  We skipped swimming but then went to the skatepark.  I think every child on the Northside got a scooter for Christmas.  There were a lot of kids there but they were all quite young, so Luke, Nate and Levi did OK, but we didn't last as long as normal, just because there were a few too many others scooters competing for space.  Our kids are all really tired and so it wasn't a big stretch for them to be done early. 

 Next we went to Luke and Nate's house for a play and a swim.  All of them are now competent enough that they don't have to have someone in the water all the time.  We can sit and chat from the side and occasionally saying "Don't jump on the boogie board like that!" or "Be careful".  Then the kids got on the motorbikes.  It was Levi's first lesson, so there was lots of 'Safety stops' and other first lesson type things.  His head was too big for the helmet that came with the adult dirt bike that Pete recently bought.  No one was overly surprised.  Luke has a huge head as well so they are good company.  It seems I'll be up for a helmet soon because he quite likes the motor bike.  Pete is a great teacher too.  Think 'safety' before 'funniest home videos'.  It works for me.  The best thing is Cheryl and I sit back and play on the bikes or drink coffee. 

 Tonight Levi went to bed on time.  Now that doesn't sound like much, but it is a big thing as for the last few weeks his sleep has been; well, disrupted is too mild a term for it.  The poor kid has switched too many time zones and had too many late nights, it is just a relief to get him in bed at a reasonable time, clean and with hair and teeth washed.  It is little wonder that he has been so tired.  It is little wonder that I have been tired.  In case anyone wanted to know, No I still haven't unpacked fully from either Townsville or USA, but at least I have made a start.

Today the one part of Queensland not flooded in the last month, has a cyclone bearing down on it with another following hot on it's heels.  I am thinking of my families in Townsville.  They have a hard week coming up.  I hope that they stay above water, a luxury that most of the rest of Australia has missed.



Camping

Friday night we went camping.  Camping in the easiest possible way.  We went camping by the creek near the house.  It is perfect because if you forget something you can get it in seconds.  Plus if the kids need a toilet you can drive them up the driveway and know they are OK.  Levi had his mate Ty over and Pam, my friend from work helped me.  We camped on very soft ground that only a few days ago was a fluidized bed and a few days before that was under water by several metres.  It is safe enough there and we had already tested to see if the boys could climb up the hill in an emergency.  It was very dirty though and you can see by Levi's sweaty, muddy face that mud got everywhere. 

The boys ran around like mad things getting firewood and rocks to make a fire pit.  We grilled sausages and roasted marshmallows on sticks.  Then we tried to put them to bed.  They played and giggled for about an hour before they finally collapsed into slumber. 

The next morning they woke at the crack of '.  Actually it wasn't that bad.  It was about 6am.  There was no leisurely waking though; as soon as their eyes opened they were up and out of the tent to collect wood and climb hills and trees again!

Since I have been home, the flood waters have gradually receded and left the city scoured clean in areas and covered in mud in others.  It is awe inspiring to see the power of the water itself.  Huge swathes of cliff face have been sheared from the side of the roads, and there are gaping holes in roads and bridges, many of which are still closed.  There was just so much water.  There still is.  Our creek looks different now.  The course has changed a little and where there were two channels with a little island of rocks and trees in the centre, there is now a single watercourse, deeper than before, with rocks clean of any algae.  It is impressive that so much can change so quickly.  There are many people in Brisbane who will take weather reports more seriously now.

Confessions of an overtired mother

Yep, still tired.  I can't wait until the weekend and we can catch up a little.  It will be a fairly busy weekend but I think there should be some vague chance that both Levi and I can catch up a little on sleep.  Here are the things that I need to confess for the day:

1.  I still haven't unpacked fully from the Townsville trip

2.  Or even the US trip

3.  I still haven't taken the 'First Day of School Photo' and at this rate it will likely get taken around about June!

4.  Should be unpacking or cleaning rather than writing on this blog.

Tomorrow I have to go to a funeral and it always makes me a little morose.  I will go into work for the morning and the funeral and then take off and do the shopping that I need to do before coming home and getting organized for the big sleepover.  Ty is sleeping over for the first time and to say that the excitement level is high is a gross understatement!

Today I got my eyebrows waxed.  I know it is a very strange thing for me to subject myself to but it was an emergency.  The beauty school upstairs at work needed some crash test dummies and we were available.  

Tired, really Tired!

Pretty much, this is what Levi has been doing a lot of in the last week.  He has been lucky.  I wish I had that kind of luxury.  It has been exhausting to go from holiday to 48 hours of travel, and then 9 days straight of work.  I have not been able to shake this cold and I am sure it is just due to fatigue, and travel and jet lag. 

Now I am sitting here with a day off tomorrow, watching something mind numbing on TV.  In the first few weeks back you have to stay up at night or you wake punishingly early in the morning.  Trust me it is a struggle every night at the moment.  At least I can sleep long and hard tonight!

Finding My Feet

We have been back in Australia for just under a week and back in Brisbane for a little over a day now.  In that week I worked in Townsville for Shark Bait Kids.  It was fabulous, really.  It was a great effort from all people involved and it was incredible the amount of work that went into it.  We made it to several different media and may increase the number of volunteers in Townsville by the program alone.  It is fabulous to be a part of a program like this and it is consistently an honour to work with the therapists that I work with.  Levi was great too.  He was looked after by my nephew Sam and spent the evenings surprising everyone by just where he could fall asleep. 

We were both lagged and it was stretching his tolerance but he did an admirable job of holding out until it really was night time before going to sleep.  At dinner one night he fell asleep at the pub just before his dinner arrived.  He was so tired that I just lay him on the floor of the pub while we ate dinner.  The next time he woke it was morning! 

Today was the first day of Grade 1 for Levi.  He is with Luke but not the rest of the gang and I think that it is a good thing.  It is really good to mix it around and let him make a bunch of friends in different years.  It gives him a deeper pot so to speak.  He was all pissy when he got home because he wasn't allowed to go and play outside because he didn't have a hat.  I had neglected to find it before school and in the microsecond that I had before that.  Poor kid.  I might have to buy him another.  At the moment it is just too hard to find anything, let alone a hat and his chair bag.  Oh well, bad parent award again!!

Is it really worth it?

 I have been lying in bed trying to sleep this morning but failing miserably.  I have to say Goodbye to Ross and Evan tomorrow and Robert and Ken on Sunday.  Once again it is almost beyond me.  It would just be so easy not to and I think that is the biggest problem of all.  Tomorrow I could get a job at the hospital and be paid at least what I am paid now.  Oh I wouldn't be a 'manager' but for me that definitely goes on the 'Pro' side not the 'Con' side, esp as being a manager in Brisbane has given me almost zero joy and has certainly had more work involved than I think anyone imagined. 

Tomorrow I could buy a 4 bedroom house here on a big chunk of land for $200K.  The housing prices are incredible at the moment and it is definitely a buyers market.  Heck, if I tried hard I could wait a bit and get a house for less.   At a fixed interest level of 3% compared to the massive interest I am paying in Australia, I might even have a hope of paying it off sooner!  It is funny, but I keep thinking about the housing correction that Australia is supposed to do soon and fear that soon, my house in Australia won't be worth much either.  Levi loves his brothers so much!  I feel like a bad mother taking him away from them and know that their time to be able to be around and play with him is growing short.  Ross has only two years before he leaves school.  He is growing into a lovely adult but in 18 months when we come back he will be just that, an adult.  I know, it's Ross he will still play with Levi, but it is hard to know how much time they are losing.  The other day day introduced me to his friends, still using the "this is my 'other mother'" title.  Heart warming but it still ripped me apart.  I am missing his life as well as Evan's and it makes me really sad to contemplate that.

 It comes down to what you move anywhere for.  In reality it was the schooling that finalized my decision.  That and the thought that I could get some help in Australia.  But is Brisbane Boys Grammar really worth all that has been sacrificed for it?  I like the idea that Levi go to a boy only school, because he is in such a girl dominated environment, but that is not true in USA, in fact it is the opposite, he would live surrounded by boys and men who love him dearly.  I will admit, the schooling is better but I don't even know if I will be able to afford BGS when the time comes.  I am frantically trying to put money away into a school account but is it really worth the amount that you have to pay to go.  In the cold hard financial truths of this world and watching them put the fees up furiously, I think that unless Levi gets a scholarship, my chances of being able to afford to send him are low.  And is St Mary's or Sacred Heart that different?  Yes the education level is lower, but surely I could supplement that and I am more likely to have the resources to do that here.

I wish that these things were easier.  I write this on an internet that uploads easily and free while in Australia it is slow and they charge like a wounded bull.  It frustrates me that Australia seems to only take the bad stuff from USA.  They follow dumb trends like their life depends on it but simple efficient tools like the internet and cell phones are worked on weird archaic dinosaur systems in Australia.  Why can't we take those systems, the ones everyone likes?  Why do the Australian people not look up and say "Why don't we do that?"  This is starting to sound like a rant.  It didn't start that way, but I am sad and I don't want to leave my family (again).  I wonder what it would take to move back?  I am not wishing for any of this to happen, mind you, I was just wondering about coming back so it crystallizes my reasons in my head for staying in Australia.  My job in Australia is better, certainly not better paid, certainly not better compensated but still better.  I love what I do there and wouldn't really love what I do here, but could perhaps get to a point where I do.  If Jo died tomorrow and Jane managed to stay more than 3 days in China, I think I would come back.  If Levi did, I would be back in a heartbeat.  I can't imagine dealing with that kind of grief and having to look after others at the same time.  If I lost my job, I would be back. 

 I have lovely friends and family in both places now.  It kills me to think about leaving USA, but in a few weeks and after I have been crabby for a few days (OK weeks - Sorry work friends), I settle back in, because I am not unhappy in Australia, I just miss my family.  The other thing that I miss is Frankie.  In USA, they all knew him.  They talk about him as a real entity.  THEY miss him.  I feel like Frankie is in the background at times in a way that he never is in Australia.  I don't get that there because no one has the basis for it.  No one knew him as well as anyone here.  I feel that as I walk away from USA again, I am once again walking away from his memory.

It's OK, I will be OK in a week or so and helping to clean up Brisbane will be a welcome distraction.  I will put on my happy face and soon it will not just be a mask! 

Maybe there are a few things that Levi might not miss though, like this face plant!